I’ve been a little distressed these past couple of days. Ha! What else is new. No, seriously. This may seem meager to some, but I am a bit distraught  over the news of the show Emeril Live ceasing production for good. Yeah, yeah, yeah… so, I’m a fan. And a big one at that. What can I say? I love watching kitchen acrobatics. It seems like everybody’s adding it to their repertoire these days though. The entertainment factor of cooking, that is. But Emeril started it all. Okay, the original Japanese Iron Chef did, to be precise. But here in the U.S., he may very well have put the culinary arts in the spotlight and center stage almost overnight… to the benefit of the professsion itself.

I have to admit though, that if serious cooking education is what you’re after, flip the channel to PBS instead. I’m not saying you don’t learn from the Food Network shows. It’s just that in the past few years, it’s grown to be overwhelmingly sophisticated that, IMHO, it’s become the MTV of food and cooking. Nothing wrong with that. It’s called progress. Although, I find it a tiny bit distracting that cleavage has, all of a sudden, become quite a popular addition to the shows’ main ingredients… competing flavors with garlic! Oh my!

If there’s anybody I’d rather spend serious TV time on these days, it’s probably Alton and Mario. And Jamie Oliver! Whatever happened to that dude, anyway? Last time I checked, he got relegated to the 4am time slot. What a shame. Those guys are gurus and you’re more likely to drool in amazement over the sight of their sizzling grills than their teethy smiles.

But this post is about Emeril, isn’t it? That’s right. And so, I just wanted to express my gratitude real quick for the years of entertainment that his show has brought to my life. It’s been a great run. Even my ex-wife, I remember, always felt safe whenever I’m glued to the tube watching it. That way, I wasn’t anywhere doing God knows what. Like being in the basement on the computer, heaven forbid! And blogging?

Bam! You’re in the doghouse!

———————

Okay, just for the fun of it, I’m updating this post by adding a few Emerilisms that came to me just now. I found these lines amusing. But as corny as you might think they are as well, I’m afraid they’re forever embedded in my brain now. Scary, I find myself saying these while cooking. Thanks, Emeril!

• Nice and slow… it’s a food of love thing
• I’m not making this up
• Hey, I didn’t make the rules
• Pork fat rules
• Big budget show here
• Don’t know where you get your flour from; where I get mine, it don’t come seasoned
• I’m not gonna go there
• Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rhoda… I’m trying to cook here
• Here, go make some friends
• Give the kid his Oreos already
• We’re not flopping turkeys here
• Go buy yourself a couple hundred copies, will ya?
• Put it in the icebox
• Don’t even think about touching that dial
• Oh yeah, babe!
• Big fancy cooking word
• Hi, Jay!
• Sometimes, I amaze myself
• Snack on this in the subway and no one will bother you
• They’re nice and happy now
• Season and then, re-season
• Do it nice and gingerly. What did it do to you?
• The chicken police is watching
• Call your cable company and complain you don’t have smell-a-vision
• We’re really cooking here
• Please… keep it G
• Can you imagine me doing this on Iron Chef?
• Rub this on the bumper of your truck and it’ll taste good
• I’m under a lot of pressure here, doc
• Rough crowd tonight, doc
• More gahhlic, it’s a beatiful thing
• I can do this, you know why? Cause it’s my show.
• Get your own show, will ya?
• Give it up for Doc Gibbs & the Emeril Live Band
• When we come back… another notch!
• Kick it up a notch
• Bam!!!!!!

Did I miss anything? Let me know!

Last update on the list: 12/22/07