If only

if only

If only


My face disfigured by time
Cobwebs burying my eyes with shame
The product of hate I’ve become
I nurture this pain like a family

I bow my head to the ground
For I am nothing for you to look at
Your time need not be wasted
Your concern is unnecessary

I was born in silence and stillness
No one ever needed to know why
Locked inside my own mind
Unhampered by the sun

Years of expendable existence
All will fade away soon
Forever did I ask your questions
Yet never sought my own answers


If only

©2008 Chris Alma Jose

The Rock

Here in the shore stands a lonely rock
A companion of the lonely sea
I come here often waiting for you
Wishing for you
It’s just a matter of time, I thought

Then one day, there you are
The ocean waves trumpet your arrival

Though you seem adrift, like a dying fish
Drowning in your own world perhaps
I long to touch your golden hair and smile at you
And lift you up out of your deep waters

Yet you could not see me
Or would not see me, rather
Even as I wave my hand in the air

Your eyes wander far beyond your own reach
Too far to see the possibilities
Too far to see a dream come true

I vividly remember this moment
It’s happened many times before

Once again, I splash my tail in despair
I swim away in anguish, back to my kingdom

For just like your father before you
Your grandfather and his
And the ones before them, still
You stand on this rock

Unaware of my beauty
Unmindful of my existence
Unbelieving of any hope

©2008 Chris Alma Jose | Image from PBase

Look to the Light

looking to the light
You look to the light and go blind
For it is meant to direct your path, not negotiate
Its power is beyond your grasp
Its wisdom beyond understanding

You look to the light and you miss it
For light exists only in the dark
And whenever you claim your eyes can see
You unknowingly confirm your own blindness

You look to the light and pay the price
For showing disrespect and lack of awe
There are places no one must ever go
And lines no one must ever cross

You look to the light and die a slow death
For you dare to defy the truth of truths
A speck of dust is all that you are
And pride becomes your downfall

You look to the light and are no more
Forever gone and cast into oblivion
One day no one will ever remember
That there was once a dark in the light

©2008 Chris Alma Jose | Image from Flickr


No, it’s not the Led Zeppelin album…

But believe it or not, I’m already trying to prep myself up for another round of studio mayhem to work on my 8th CD project! Yes, I’ve been writing new material since February. Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to keep up the pace. I’m only down to song #3. Like in, three down? Ten to go? Yep, the writer’s block is back. For now, anyway.

So today, I stumbled upon a website I used to go to a lot years ago when I’m searching for songwriting ideas. It’s a poet’s website called – duh! – poetry.com. Go ahead and search for my name and you’ll find a few contributions of my own as well. In fact, that’s what I did. And I wanted to share with you one of those poems I wrote ages ago. It’s obviously about God, and how I’m so humbled to be in his presence. I still am.


I am not worthy of the presence
Though otherwise is too steep a price to pay
Relentlessly nurtured in my slumber
Fostered by cunning breasts I am
Unbearable, unstoppable

Truth, yes, truth is credible I believe
For it draws near with persistent pain
The blade gashes beyond mere skin, however
Optimism swiftly trickles like a bloodstream
Overflowing, overwhelming

No, I am not worthy of the presence
Yet my appointment is blindingly obvious
Like a brazen eagle thrashing his swollen wings
Only to be struck down by an arrow of empathy
Vindicated, exonerated

Artsy, you think? Sure. Cerebral? I don’t know. Maybe. But it’s a facade. Like my songs. A lot of them are spiritually-based, if you haven’t noticed. It’s mostly hidden behind the rock and roll. But I like it that way. It’s like, the lyrics are the pages and the loud guitars are the hard-bound cover.

But feel free to judge the book by its cover! 🙂 I do! It’s only rock and roll, right?