This morning, at work, I was tasked with shooting a video of a conference meeting. It was a lot of fun, actually. What I mean is that, it’s fun to be behind the camera and see every detail of what’s going on anywhere I wish to point the lens towards. And anywhere usually means, any person that I feel requires attention at a given moment.
Now, I’m not talking about acting here. There’s no rehearsal, no makeup, no costumes. This is a company meeting, for crying out loud! Nobody even expects a cameraman to show up, unannounced. And when someone sees one of those big black things pointing at them, like they’re being held at gunpoint, you can pretty much expect a look of self-consciousness, pretty much all of the time. Especially, when their un-Photoshopped faces are magnified, to their horror, on a humongous wall screen.
I’m not making fun of anybody here, by the way. I would feel the same, if I saw me blown up on a screen, twenty times my real size. Sheesh! I can’t imagine anyone feeling comfortable either. Unless of course, you’re Paris Hilton. Or, God forbid, Gene Simmons!
It made me think, though, of how self-consciousness is such a deep-seated characteristic of the human nature. Our choices and decisions are affected, in a big way, by how we think others will react to them. There are positive aspects to this. As well as negative ones. I mean, I would think that it only makes sense for one to shower and dress appropriately, when going to be around other people. But then, who is it really for, when one decides to get a little nip and tuck, just to get rid of those eye bugs that naturally come with age, anyway? Another example is, that it’s only right to lose weight and be healthy. But, to whom are you killing yourself for that million-dollar six-pack, or a weight count that rivals that of your dog?
It makes me think that, we sometimes tend to find our confidence in the approval of others. I wonder if it’s still necessary to drive an outrageously priced sports car when you’re the only person left on the planet? Even when there’s no one around to be envious of you? I wonder if image would still be an issue?
So yeah, self-consciousness. I’m not sure what to make of it, though. Some of it, I think is good. And some, I just think is ridiculous. Sometimes, it’s modesty. Other times, it’s vanity. Sometimes, freedom. Other times, slavery.
There’s so much more I want expound on, regarding this topic, but I’m afraid I’m now getting a little self-conscious myself. About spewing out personal philosophy, that is. I don’t like it. So I’ll stop.
But I’ll, at least, ask… What do you think?
Chris Alma José 
I often wonder the same thing. I think being clean is important, but anything else? Do it for yourself, not for others. We all worry far too much about how we look. In the long run we’re all the same underneath. I’m more concerned with health than beauty; there’s more joy to be had in feeling well than in looking gorgeous. And as I’ve gotten older I have come to realise that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder!
Appearance, I suspect, is just one of those weird trappings somewhere in the middle of genetic advantage and social negotiation. Those who put effort into their appearance present more an image of someone who is meticulous and takes pride in their appearance, but also reminds us that they are healthy and capable within society. However, this becomes a trapping for many. Beauty is still only a factor in making you an attractive person, but our society tends to be somewhat shallow in offering that all we need is a good appearance to be desired by others.
Self consciousness can be more positive, because I tend to link it with self-awareness. If one is more self-aware, then they are able to better perceive their interactions with those around them and consequently facilitate communication in a more prudent fashion. Just so long as this self-analysis doesn’t become a detriment via depression or self-loathing.
Your articles are so interesting. Write me one every day or else =)
I’ve struggled with this. Generally I’m not the type to be all overly concerned about my appearance. But over the past year I’ve been trying to lose weight. And I went through this period where I was all disgusted with myself because, Why am I doing this again? I mean, sure, I want to be healthy (and I do), but I also wanna look hot! Yet … my husband already likes the way I look … So why am I doing this again?
But I think during that time of frustrated introspection I was craving something sweet and creamy, and I was experiencing that horrible angry withdrawal addicts face.