First of all, Merry White Christmas. It is Christmas Day, after all. At least, in my house, it is. I hope, everyone is cozy and having a good time.

Alright. Yesterday, I had an interesting dialogue with some churchgoers, a confused Christian (an oxymoron, perhaps?), and an atheist. Each, on different occasions. Hectic day, can you tell, already? Now, I’m not particularly given to discussing religious topics, AT ALL. This is so, not because I think it’s worthless. But, it simply pains me to think that I’m shoving my beliefs down people’s throats, that’s all. Hopefully, this is not the case, here. But, we’ll see…

I’m very different, in a lot of ways. Mostly, in a spiritual sense. To sum up my whole outlook in life, this is what I say: There is no proof. There is no answer. There is only faith. Because, my faith allows me to leave questions unanswered and still have peace in my heart. It allows me to see nothing tangible, and yet, see everything I need to see. It allows me to walk in the fire, and still come out, unscathed. Try these, at your own risk.

Now, I’m not saying, be stupid and get burned. We are humans, therefore we will fall, at some point. But, we can be helped back up, if only we ask humbly. Although, if you think, you can help yourself, just fine… right on, then. Just don’t come up and ask me any questions. I will neither debate nor discuss theological issues with anyone! This is an utter waste of time, I think.

However, since I’m being asked for my two cents, by a few folks, I will speak once. But, no more. So, buckle up.

I am a Christian (although, feel free to call me whatever you wish, after reading this post). And, I “believe” like you would not dare believe. I’ve always told people that I have a religion and I’m not afraid of it. But, I don’t practice religiosity. Though, for the sake of those wondering, yes, Jesus is Lord. And, I say that with utmost pride! In my walk with God, I have learned not to judge, or alienate people. Whether in person, or, in my heart. I have learned to accept anyone and everyone, for who and what they are. I am no different. Let alone, better. Oh yeah, I am also a musician who plays both “Christian” and “Satanic” music, back to back (notice the quotes?). Didn’t I say before, I love eerie music? Oh yeah. Love them, drop tunings. 🙂

So, does anyone feel like closing the browser, yet? If so, see ya. Thanks, for stopping by. 🙂

Confusion is so not Christian. Or, is it, too?

By the way, if you’re still with me, I hope I have not derailed your train of thoughts yet, by what I have said, so far. If I have, I am sorry, but this is not the place for me to explain. Nor am I inclined to do so, at any time. So, feel free to let your imagination run wild.

With that said, I digress.

Going back to my (separate) conversations with the confused Christian and the atheist, I can’t tell you how tiring it is to have to explain things. In fact, I have learned one lesson from those conversations. NEVER EXPLAIN ANYTHING. Simply share your own experience, I thought. Each one of us needs to go on a separate journey all on our own. I believe that we, as spiritual beings, need to find our answers, individually; and not rely solely, on other people’s point of view. Yes, that includes our own family’s, as well. As harsh as it may sound. We need to create and view our own perspective. My own belief tells me that, if we ask for something, we should receive it. If we’re not getting it, it’s because we’re not supposed to. Maybe, not yet. Maybe, never. So, let’s smile, and be patient. More importantly, let’s be content, regardless of the outcome. Never expect anything.  If something good comes our way, let’s be grateful, for we don’t deserve it. Maybe, we think, we do. But, we don’t. Life is unfair. Hey, lucky for us. If it was, we’d all be dead and rotting in Hell by now. And that’s the jagged little truth pill, that’s hard to swallow. I know.

All I’m saying is, we should exercise vulnerability and humility. This is all the power we have on this earth. And they are pretty powerful, indeed, if put to good use. I chose to believe in God. Heck, I even chose to believe that today is, in fact, Jesus’ birthday! 🙂 I’m not arguing about the date’s validity, either. But, what difference does it make? If I decide to celebrate my birthday three months after the actual date, what do you care? Anyhow, tangent off.

I really hate sounding philosophical, and so, I’m trying to be a little casual about my approach. But hear this, CC (confused Christian)… be urgent, but find your own answers. Ask, but don’t expect proof. You will be given none. If you’re pointing out that Buddhism makes more sense to you, then, quit whining and convert, already! But, don’t spew out your cerebral garbage on proof and logic, while at the same time, admitting you’re confused. You are just biting the hand that’s trying to feed you. If you don’t like the food, leave. But, make a decision and stick with it.

I’m sorry for getting a little uptight. I didn’t mean to. But, you’re talking to me, and asking me for answers, that could possibly keep you, in your comfort zone. I have none. So, either take my advise, or move on.

And, here’s to the atheist… I would not be commenting, if you didn’t ask me to. I’d rather not, in fact. But, I’ll say this once, and never again. Belief in God is like an association with the Mafia (relax, it’s just an analogy). If you had believed in the past, and had become a member of the family, there is no turning back. You may lose your faith today, or change your mind and articulate your rebuttal until you’re blue in the face; but the fact is, you have experienced the truth, at some point, and regardless of whether or not you’re still hanging on to it, you’re now guilty of knowing too much. And you are not safe on your own, from hereon out. And, even if you have not ever believed, having called yourself an atheist only establishes further grounds that your beliefs are, in fact, the result of a direct competition with the idea of a possible existence of God. You are still guilty, at this point, because you know that there is a God; only you believe it to be a mere concept, which you opted to reject. The Bible says, there is no excuse. You simply open your eyes, and you will see God. In everything. I chose to believe what it says. So, when you’re dead, do not say to God, you didn’t see him. Besides being a very bad idea, the fact is, you actually did. You simply covered your eyes with human logic and reasoning. There is a God, or atheism would not have existed, in the first place.

I looked in the dictionary and found out that the Greek word for atheist is atheos, meaning, a Godless person, or, a person without a God. This does not mean, there is no God. Only, atheists prefer to not have one, or believe in one, rather. But there is, indeed, a God. Whether one believes it or not. Enough said.

Sometime last week, I read a post about the topic of living a spiritual life as opposed to a religious one. By the way, it dawned on me that many still do not understand the difference between the two. But, this is a thought for another time. Anyhow, so, the post made me think about how children are normally raised in this world. And, how their upbringing affects the establishment of society, hence the entire world. This was my comment to that post…

I believe that when you are left to seek the truth for yourself, as opposed to being spoon-fed with someone else’s version of it, you will indeed find it, somehow. This is the ultimate satisfaction. To wonder; then to set out on a journey; and then, to eventually find what you’re looking for.

However, parents are naturally inclined to raise their kids the way they believe they’re supposed to be raised. It’s only natural; yet selfish and stifling. Unless spiritual freedom is allowed to reign in the upbringing of children, they will almost certainly grow up needing to break away and explore knowledge for themselves eventually.

Gaining knowledge can be full of pain, though. However, pain is where the truth lies.

Before I expound on this, I would like to quickly add, that the entire Universe is within God’s domain. That big ol’ speck of dust is sitting pretty, right on the palm of his hand. And if you think, you’re in it, I believe, you ain’t going nowhere, fast. No matter what you think, or do.

But, that’s just me. 🙂

Anyhow, I was brought up Catholic. Now, I don’t have anything negative to say about it. My entire family is Catholic. I would still go to mass and do all things Catholic when I’m with them. It’s called respect. But somewhere down the line, I have experienced the vastness of knowledge available in the spiritual world; and what it might possibly offer me, besides what I already have. I’m not saying, I wasn’t happy with being a Catholic, I just wanted to explore further. To learn more. To discover new things. And, to prove myself wrong, even. I didn’t want to simply rely on what was passed on to me, growing up. I wanted to expand my horizon; and earn my own beliefs. And, to be able to accept things, without having to understand them. And I did. I went through the journey. It was long and painful, but I got there. I know, I did. Though, I made mistakes. I was foolish, at times. I stumbled. I fell. And, I hurt people, along the way. But, I made it through, eventually. I found home. My home.

We have heard the saying “Home is where the heart is.” I say, “Heart is where the home is.” I can’t tell you where your home is at. Though, I’d like it to be the same one, as mine. In fact, I am begging you to come home, with me. It is beautiful, here. And, safe. But, ultimately, we all have to make our own decisions. Our own individual hearts will tell us, where we want to end our seemingly endless journey. Where we want to find our peace. And, who we want to surrender our confusions to.

And then, really live.