random thoughts

Got twenty minutes to spare?

| Chris

Have you ever thought green? Or at least, making green a little more prominent in your life? In fact, as far back as I can remember up until recently, my favorite color has always been red. But the past few years has seen me have a gradual change of heart. I started to like the color green more and more. Must’ve been my big move from the urban metropolis to what seems to be middle earth. 🙂 Anyhow, I began noticing this at work for the first time. When I’m designing themes for marketing projects and stuff, I find myself having to defend my choice of color schemes to the committee.

“But we’ve used it several times in the past already… Chrissy boy!”

“I know, I know. But trust me! Green fits perfectly here. It connotates progress, freshness, newness; and it’s easy on the eyes too. Look at the logo, the background, the text. Even the guy’s face looks convincing with a green tint on his cheeks, admit it!”

Suddenly, one day, my RGB became GRB. I was obsessed. For the first time in my life, my favorite color has changed from red to green. Yep. And it’s all for a good cause as well.

Like here in the house, for instance. I have been doing my part (well, as much as I can anyway) slowly but surely. I’m not saying everyone should do this since every situation is different. But here, the light is on only where I am standing at a particular moment. To be honest, 90 percent of the time, the only light glowing in the entire house comes from the laptop screen. Weird, I know. But I have to blog, so there you go. Also, the heat is on but never cranked up (I bundle up and sip green tea instead. Or do push-ups. It’s good for you.). When I leave, I turn it off completely! My 13-gallon trashcan lasts 3 weeks. If it doesn’t, I use grocery bags until the three weeks is up. I recycle and reuse all kinds of plastic containers. When water is running, I’m always in panic mode. I can’t wait to shut it off already regardless of what I’m doing. I don’t buy “stuff” unless I think I will die the next morning without it. Seriously. I don’t crave much of anything. The Jones’s are banned from the neighborhood anyway, so I take it as a blessing that I don’t ever have urges to keep up with anybody. I even stopped eating out much also. Probably, just once every three or four months when hanging out with friends. You still have to be part of the community, y’know. But I realize I like my cooking better! Oh yeah, nothing, and I mean NOTHING perishes in my fridge. I eat every ounce of food left and never throws away anything. That means I meticulously plan my grocery shopping and cooking schedules. I told you I’m weird! And I guess I feel lucky that my job is just three minutes drive from the house. Yup, less than a mile. The grocery is half a mile away. The movie theater, three blocks away (not that I watch movies often; I dont; that’s what TV’s for). The mall and shopping center, just two miles away. Out here, if you see more than 10 cars in the street at a time, it’s rush hour traffic. All this means I fill up my tank once every three months! It’s a very simple, uncomplicated life and I try to take advantage of every situation while I’m able to. You never know if you’ll ever get thrown back into the concrete jungle of a metro city. Though, I really hope not.

This morning, I found a link that was posted by a fellow blogger. It’s a twenty minute, very entertaining informational video on how simple “stuff” and the politics behind it create global impact. Will you let twenty minutes change your heart? I was convicted! I knew I wanted to spread this vital information on here because it’s about time we opened our eyes to the sad state we’re in. The things that we do or don’t do in our everyday lives affect the world in every way imaginable; and this in turn, affects us back on an individual level. Yes, it comes back to you like a bad karma! And so, we sometimes complain aimlessly because we’re clueless. It’s a vicious cycle and it somehow needs to stop. I’m thinking of ways I can help with. Everyone should, I think!

So, you got twenty minutes to spare? I hope so. Please… please… watch the Story of Stuff and get convicted!

Can’t wait any longer

| Chris

It’s a joke, I’m tellin’ ya!

This indecision has got to stop! It’s obvious that I can’t wait unitl tomorrow morning to change that stupid layout just so I can go to sleep. Pathetic!

So, there it is… it’s changed! I’m happy. I think. For now. Anyway.

I hope the simplicity of this one will keep me focused on the words I write instead of the graphics.

I really hope so. Cuz I’m tired already. Really. Very. And I’m sleepy. Yaaaawwwwn…

Goodnight, ya’ll.

Iffiness

| Chris

Okay, I’ve been unsettled for about a month now on whether or not this blog layout fits my writing personality. Or should it even matter to begin with? There are other more important things to think of and here I am being iffy about a stupid blog layout! I hate that I’m feeling stuck on such a trivial subject. What matters is what I write on the paper, not the type of paper I’m writing on. Or is that right? I don’t know. And I really shouldn’t care. 

It’s Friday evening right now. I might give myself another twelve hours or so to decide. If tomorrow morning I’m still having second thoughts about this layout, I think I’m going back to the one I had before I switched to this one. It’s not my first choice either, but being a web designer makes it hard to be completely at home with a ready-made template. You always want to have your own stamp on it, I guess. Oh well, I might just end up trying all of them eventually. Yikes! Hope not.

There goes the bride

| Chris

It’s so hard. Everyday is torture.

Sure, it helps to write things down but still, it haunts me to this day that my marriage didn’t work.

I take all the blame! I am weak and did not deserve her in the first place. Though, I am grateful to God that he gave me a chance to love and be loved. A chance to see me for who I really am. How I was and who I can be from this day forward.

As promised, I am sharing with you the bridal procession song that I wrote and recorded for my wedding. All I have now are the memories. And this song is from a moment in time when love was born. Like a baby, so tender and pure. I am so sorry that it has now passed away. Oh, so soon. How I wish I could bring it back to life.

Deb, I know you’re reading this. I hope you don’t mind me sharing it here. This will always be your song.

Here Comes My Bride

Here comes my bride
All dressed in white
I have been waiting all my life

My brand new day
Will wipe the tears away
All arise
Here comes my bride

Starstruck

| Chris

One ordinary afternoon back in the late 90’s, a couple of my friends and I were walking down a street somewhere in North Hollywood… heading from one guy’s apartment building to another looking to hang out and watch a movie. Along the way, we stop by a yogurt shoppe to get some… well, from what I can remember, yogurt.

Now, we walk inside and immediately drool over the choices behind the see-through freezer. Here, the shoppe’s counter is right in the center when you first walk in. To the left are tables filled with a number of customers hanging out, enjoying their yogurt. To the right are a bunch of tables as well. Unoccupied. Except for one person sitting on the far corner eating his yogurt by himself. The three of us can’t help but stare at this man as he surely looked familiar. He’s a heavy-set, older individual we all knew too well. Without  second thoughts, we start our trek towards the gentleman, much to the other customers’ dismay. Our eyes are wide in amazement as we shamelessly invade his privacy. One of us wastes no time and immediately breaks the ice.

“Hello, Mr. Brando, my name’s Paul. These are my friends, Steve and Chris. We’re big fans of yours and it is such a pleasure to meet you in person.” Mr. Brando takes one last scoop of yogurt into his mouth, looks up and glims at each one of us with that famously contemplating look. And with that all too familiar Corleone-ish tone in his voice, he speaks…

“You come up here to talk to me because my name is Marlon Brando. You know Marlon Brando but you don’t know me. I bet, if you spotted an ordinary no name big old fat pig instead, you wouldn’t have bothered. Now would you, boys?”

I don’t know about Paul and Steve, but I am mightily convicted at this point. How do you respond to that? What do you say to Mr. Party Pooper? There’s no way out. He knew the truth. The bitterness in his voice is very telling. He must be used to this, I thought. No, he must be so sick and tired of people doing this to him. All the time. All his life!

As much as I am saddened by the fact that he knew that people only love and respect him for being a great actor and not because he is simply a human being longing for sincere affection, I am, in fact, even more devastated by my own lack of concern and sensitivity. I was starstruck. And that’s all that mattered at that moment.

Anyhow, Mr. Brando is kind and understanding enough to not drown us further into a pool of guilt. He starts conversing with us, in fact. We all confess to him that we’re musicians and entertainers ourselves trying to break into the business. He in turn tells us a little trivia about his early life. He’s a closet drummer. Wow, I bet you didn’t know that! Yes, he loves to play congas at home. When he was growing up, he hated the idea of being an actor but instead wanted to become a professional drummer. One day, he was at a big band concert where his idol, the legendary Gene Krupa, was playing. Wanting to get some inspiration, he walked up to him to shake his hand after the show. Sadly, Mr. Krupa refused and turned his back on him. Too proud, perhaps? Too big a star to shake a supportive fan’s hand? That simple gesture alone made him change his mind overnight (albeit in rebellion) and decided to go ahead and become an actor anyway. Sometimes, I wonder if Mr. Krupa ever knew that story? Amazing though, how someone’s simple but thoughtless action can turn one person’s life around completely. Indeed, large ships are steered by a very small rudder.

Well, needless to say, we had to part company. So, we bid our thanks, goodbyes and goodlucks; and the three of us proceed to the apartment building to watch a movie. Still  high on what just happened, guess what we decide to put on? That’s right… The Wild One.

Never forgetting a second of that moment, I wrote a song about it years later. The title pertains to Mr. Brando’s character’s name in this movie as I imagined him introducing himself to us by.

Enjoy!

My Name Is Johnny

i don’t think i like it when you come talk to me
no, i don’t think it’s fair, this is my time and space
this might sound crazy to you
you don’t know me like you think you do
i bet you haven’t got a clue
so let me tell you

my name is johnny, how do you do
my name is johnny, i’m just like you, yeah

i don’t think you’d ever spot me in the movies
no i don’t think you’d even recognize a star, no
well here’s my candle to burn
move over cause it’s my turn
you’ve got bigger lessons to learn boy
so let me tell you

my name is johnny, how do you do
my name is johnny, i’m just like you, yeah

cause i’ve got fake tears in my eyes
i’m so numb to all the lies
my shadow’s falling over me
and i’m not so strong
tell me where i’m wrong

i don’t think i’ll ever go the way you did
cause i’m too big to fit through the eye of a needle
yeah, cause my name is

my name is johnny, how do you do
you think i’ve something, well so do you
yeah, u-huh

i feel your pain boy
could you give me back my little joy
cause my
my name is johnny, how do you do
yeah i’m just like you

my name is johnny
uh huh, yeah, i’m just like you
my name in johnny
i’m the wild one
i’m the wild one on a ship of fools
my name is johnny
uh huh, i’m the wild one
but i’m just like you
my name is johnny
uh huh, yeah

Hot Pants!

| Chris

For some reason, I have been craving a good laugh lately. Even today, after coming home from work, I was all over the comedy channel, jibjab and youtube trying to find jokesters whom I could get my fix from.

And then I stumbled upon this short film that I used to love. It came out around seven years ago, I think. You see, in the late 90’s, before Youtube, there was Hypnotic, a place where you could watch short films. I found this one on there when it first came out. But Hypnotic disappeared and it was gone for a while. I was glad to find out it’s available on youtube today.

But I won’t ruin it for you. If you have about eight minutes to spare, this one will be worth your time, I promise. It goes by pretty quick.

Oh, just when you thought it couldn’t get worse… uhh, the ending’s an absolute riot!! You’ll see.

Let’s dance, shall we?

| Chris

Having chipped in a good amount of ridicule to love songs on yesterday’s post, it dawned on me… hey, wasn’t I also guilty of contributing to an already saturated pool of mushy cornballs myself?

Uhm, Just a little bit, actually.

Okay, wait. So, you probably think I’m just now wallowing in my emotional mud again, don’t you?

Actually, I just happen to like this song a lot. Really. I just want you to hear it. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever attempted to write something with a slight country twang to it. Yeehaw! After all, she’s from sweet home Alabama. So, I had to at least try! But since I can’t yodel without breaking out a pee-in-my-pants laugh, so much for it being a real country tune.

Uh, what in the world am I talking about, you asked? For some of you who haven’t read my previous posts and have no clue whatsoever… it’s a song I wrote and recorded for my wedding day. Some four and a half years ago. I actually wrote about five songs that were played during the ceremony itself. And this particular one is the song we danced to at the reception. (Deb, please don’t kill me if you ever read this.)

Awwwww, how romantic!!!!

We’re divorced now. Sorry to bust your bubble.

But hey, it’s still a legitimate song, I think. My friend in Atlanta was even begging me to let him use this song for his own wedding. What? Me? Pimp my song? Sorry pal, not unless I get royalties.

Anyhow, I wrote it in the tradition of Hotel California, since I’m such a big Eagles fan. It’s about as country as I can get as well, I’m afraid. But it doesn’t sound like HC at all (although, I must admit, a tad similar to another song of theirs, hee hee! See if you can tell). However, it does have that long guitar solo (my futile attempt at faking a pedal steel guitar) in the end that’s suppose to be the signal for everyone to join in the dance. Ha! See, I planned this all out in perfect timing!

I’m not used to writing sappy love songs, though. In fact, I try to stay away from it as much as possible. But obviously, this time, the job called for it. So I had to deliver.  But don’t get any ideas. I really meant the lyrics, okay? I still do, in fact. Sniff, sniff…

But allow me to send out a warning… this is for first-time saps only. No romantic pros please. Think shaky, sweaty nerd approaching gorgeous babe with hair moving in slo-mo!

Next time, I’ll share the song I composed for the bridal procession. You’ll be blown away that I timed it precisely, in sync with bride and dad arriving at the front of the altar right when the minister says… Who gives this woman… blah blah blah. At that moment, the song goes into a short whispering break. And then it goes back to a crescendo and finishes right when we finally arrive at the altar. Pardon me, I’m just so easily amused! Ha! 🙂

But in the meantime… let’s dance, shall we?

First Dance

When I was younger than yesterday
I used to smile on my own
And then I prayed to my God one day
To show me that I’m not alone

Did my dreams just die, my water dry
As the music began to play
Then I saw you there, an angel I swear
And I had just one thing to say

Let me have this dance, my very first dance
My crown, my honor, and my romance
Let me have this dance, my very first dance
As I sing this song to you

Seems like it was only yesterday
That you and I walked down the beach
I gazed at the stars oh so far away
As my prayer proved they’re not out of reach

And so my story goes, the proof it shows
No mountain our love cannot climb
So here we are today, our special day
Please let me ask you one last time

Let me have this dance, my very first dance
My crown, my honor, and my romance
Let me have this dance, my very first dance
As I sing this song to you

I will come to you, there is only you
You’re my dream come true
I’ll take you away till we’re old and gray
Let me hear you say

Let me have this dance, our very first dance
My crown, my honor, and my romance
Let me have this dance, our very first dance
My joy, my laughter, my love at first glance
Let me have this dance, our very first dance
My crown, my honor, and my romance
Let me have this dance, our very first dance
As I sing this song to you

As I sing… my love

Ooh… my love…

Laughing… 87 billion hours a day

| Chris

I love a good laugh and I try to have one every chance I get. I’m finding myself reminiscing of the old stand-up shows I used to catch a lot of back in my L.A. days. Last night, I scoured youtube for some classic comedy routines I was familiar with. Most of them were from SNL. You know, more cowbell, chopping broccoli, Belushi and Carey. But I remember this particular one which I actually saw live some fifteen years ago. It’s the late Richard Jeni  making fun of love songs on the radio. You might remember it yourself. I’ve seen him do this several times, and even though this one right here doesn’t provide the greatest punchlines, from what I can remember, he still pulls it off perfectly, I think. This is hilarious.

It’s a classic. So, laugh with me, will ya?

Where death is life

| Chris

Nothing feels better to me than sitting on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate while looking out the window watching as the snow falls to the ground. This is the life! This is one of those extraordinary moments I look up to the foggy white skies and stare. And know that God is staring back at me. I think we both love the snow. I can just tell.

It’s a wonderful feeling.

At this time, I turn off the TV and listen to some shuffled music while surfing on the web. Soon, one of my songs starts to play. A very old song from around ten years ago. This, suddenly has aroused my memories of the first time I had experienced getting high on God. I treasure those times because they were very poignant and sincere. Very child-like.

Not that it isn’t that way anymore, however. But back then, I was constantly writing songs about being in awe of all the elements of my faith. And how it truly transformed my life into a very meaningful and purposeful one. And also, how it gave me the strength to walk the seemingly endless desert I’ve been dwelling in these past few years.

It’s amazing to me though, that I thought of snow the day I wrote this song. Like I imagined it being sung up in the clouds. After all, this song speaks of heaven. Now it really blends well listening to it on a snowy, wintry day. It just blows my mind that I wrote this song in the heat of summer in Los Angeles back in 1997. Maybe, that’s why I’m not there anymore. I don’t know.

Anyhow, I feel grateful. This song is a wall to lean on to right now. It’s where water turns to wine. It’s where tears turn into laughter. It’s where death turns into life… tonight tomorrow and forever.

Share in my joy, will you?

Tonight Tomorrow and Forerver

Into the deepest part of me
You dive into my conscience
You knit the fabric of my soul
My heart turns into clay
Though you smash it into pieces
When it gets too hard to shape
You tear my world apart
And bring me to a brand new place

Where death is life
Where laughter is the tears I cried
Where pain brings comfort tonight

I’m standing underneath the moonlight
Gazing up into your house
I try to reach out my hands to touch you
Just wanting to feel your warmth
When I get so lost inside my own little thoughts
You reach out your hands and grab me
I close my eyes but there’s no darkness
Your light shines bright, I can see my way back home

Where death is life
Where laughter is the tears I cried
Where pain brings comfort tonight

Tonight, tomorrow and forever
Tomorrow and forever
Tonight, tomorrow  and forever
Yeah, I wanna be with you

Where death is life
Where laughter is the tears I cried
Where pain brings comfort tonight

Yeah, I wanna be with you

Where death is life
Where laughter is the tears I cried
Where pain brings comfort tonight

Tonight, tomorrow and forever