spirituality

My Place is of the Sun

| Chris

One summer night back in the early 90’s, I was performing a solo acoustic guitar set at a coffee house in Venice, CA. One of the songs on my set list is Prince of Darkness by the Indigo Girls.

As I was playing and singing the line “My place is of the sun…”, I noticed a few young kids come in for coffee. Judging by their garb, it was a bit early for Halloween, I thought. After all, they were drenched in black from head to toe. Once I finished my set, I sat among these Goths to chat. Turns out they were Satanists. Or so they claimed.

One kid complimented me on my performance. We talked about everything from music to Satan to God. One of them articulated that Satanism is simply about questioning things. I replied… well, God might just be the answer to your questions, if that’s what you’re after. I must’ve piqued his curiosity as he paused briefly before bravely uttering… tell me more about this God of yours.

I thought he was just being facetious but the conversation actually lasted longer than I wanted. Next thing I remember, it was four in the morning and I had to go to work soon.

It’s a Trap!

| Chris

This morning, I read this passage from 1 Cor 6:7b… “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” The context talks about disputes and division between brothers/sisters. I thought, well, easy for you to say, Paul!

Anyway, I digress. I can’t help but be moved by the reaction I’ve seen and heard after the tragic events of late. I believe in discourse, but man, this is just straight up ugly! Listen, I’m not much politically-inclined. I make art and music. That’s it! I don’t pretend to fully understand the ideology behind either side of the aisle.

But here’s what’s stark in my mind: Righteousness and evil are obvious. And I have yet to see good fruit grow. Anywhere! Look, when we’re for one, we’re against the other. It only makes sense, right? We love one, we hate another. We’re right, they’re wrong. We see our own needs and cries but we’re oblivious to that of those we oppose. After all, why should we care? So, there’s no sense of humility. No unity. No forgiveness or understanding. Hence, no peace.

Plenty of blame to go around though.

Political convictions, it seems, can become a form of weapon. A means to hurt. At times, without even knowing it. It could be as subtle as a voice. Could be a given right, a privilege. Or it could be worse, as we all have witnessed lately! This weapon, some people conceal it, some brandish it, and some even flat out wield it. Nevertheless, that weapon can easily become our way, our truth, and our life. Our Constitution even. Constantly on the battlefield fighting an unwinnable war. Unaware that love has already won it for us all.

So, you know what I think? I think it’s a trap!

Turning Point

| Chris

It was the last day of April, 1992. In the thick of the LA riots, I had acquired my first Bible. As the city burned outside my Hollywood apartment, I diligently read the Scripture for the first time in my life. Soon after that pivotal moment, I made a decision to be baptized. Yet the years that followed brought unexpected spiritual hurdles. The truth has an uncanny way of doing that to you, I suppose.

Eleven years later, in 2003, God woke me up. Guilt and remorse began to engulf my conscience. Religiosity unraveled. Friends drifted away, some passed on, and my first marriage began to falter. It was a dark time, for sure.

Around that period, I felt compelled to write a song where every line was a jagged little pill. It took three years to finish it. Though it remains the hardest song I’ve ever written, it gave me relief. My soul could somewhat breathe again after. Today, well, I’m still a work in progress, but grateful for the lessons I’ve learned since. God is good!

Good Sam – Friend or Foe?

| Chris

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” ~ Luke 10:36-37

It’s a classic, yes? Most people are presumably familiar with the story.

But what I’d like to briefly contemplate on is a view of this particular parable from an angle which I believe is quite easy to overlook. I know it is, for me.

goodsam

When Jesus told of this venerated tale, he made a case for all believers to pursue. He established a standard of righteousness through the likeness of a particular individual. He carved a hero out of someone whom the Old Testament-era Judeans considered not only a cultic half-breed but a downright outcast, as well. Or, a despised enemy, even.

One might not realize it but in many levels, we, in today’s society, are no different at all. We desire to be heroes. We long to be inspired. However, we naturally look up to the usual suspects, don’t we? Our examples typically come from the ones that we’re able to relate to easily – our friends, our family or perhaps, even revered celebrities. But when do we ever seek inspiration from the ones we might consider outcasts or, quote-unquote, enemies?

Think about it. It’s an issue of relate-ability. A matter of familiarity and comfort zones. It’s subtle but yet quite obvious, really. It can be about race, status or beliefs. It’s our perception of others. Our cliques. Our prejudices. The things we don’t enjoy talking about – because we are fearful of the subject matter and have nothing explicit to say about it. Unaware, we create invisible schisms, chasms and walls amongst each other. It’s a heinous misdeed and I certainly admit my own guilt!

How compelling it truly is to behold Jesus’ upside-down ideology and how it instinctively goes against the grain of our fleshly perspectives and leanings! Surely, I am in constant awe!

There is something astonishing and miraculous when we elect to pry our eyes open and witness the unexpected. The good within the perceived bad. Yes! To befriend a sinner; to plant a tiny seed of faith; to love as much as we’ve been forgiven; to knock in perseverance on God’s door; to find treasure in the unseen.

Or yet, to simply be a good neighbor, just like Sam. Good Sam. It’s a great place to start, if you ask me.

Meat or Manna

| Chris

Today’s contemplation…

“If only we had meat to eat! … But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!” ~Numbers 11:4,6

Discontentment. Ingratitude. If we’re truly honest, we’ll admit we all have these in us to some degree. They can be elusive, invisible or incognito even. A bit hard to spot at times. I don’t know about you but I struggle against it just about everyday. Even when I try not to show it, I can be a grouch deep inside.

Sometimes, our choice between meat or manna can be a matter of life and death. It’s a tough battle. Choose wisely.

@2002 Chris Alma Jose

Tomorrow, you little stinker you!

| Chris

This popped up on my phone early this morning…

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:34

Happy Monday. Here’s your Verse of the Day. Eat up!

Okay, so I’ve probably nibbled on this little breakfast nugget more times than I can remember. It’s one of the most lionized passages in scripture and intrinsically embedded in my subconscious. Well, I hope so anyway.

But you know how it goes: Just because you’ve read something once doesn’t mean you’ve wrung out every possible ounce of flavor from it.

Well, a few moments after I’ve taken a quick and superficial gander at my phone, I couldn’t shake off a feeling that I might’ve missed something vital. Something that had been hiding in plain sight all this time! So I stopped what I was doing and sat for a moment. I read the verse a second time.

And a third.

Road Closed

Hmmm… possibly a couple more. But what I ultimately saw blew me away.

Tomorrow will worry…

Did you get that? Tomorrow will worry. Not me. Tomorrow will.

Worrying is not my business. Not my monkey, not my circus! Nope!

Whew! What a relief! Right?

Wait… easier said than done, you say? Yep, I thought the same. I hear you, my friend. But let’s read on…

It says: Tomorrow will worry… about itself.

Now, is it just me or is tomorrow being portrayed here as a bit ambiguous and problematic? Kind of a nutcase, if you will?

Think about it. It doesn’t say that tomorrow will solve any of my problems. It doesn’t say that it will resolve anything at all or that it will eventually sort itself out. It only says that it’ll worry about itself!

The funny thing is that tomorrow never really comes. It never arrives, does it? When you think tomorrow’s here, it’s already moved on.

Okay, so if tomorrow is indeed ambiguous and problematic, then am I not crazy to even worry about it, to begin with?

This is what I gather from all this: Jesus is saying not to worry because if you believe in him, the cares of tomorrow gets deleted from the equation and hope takes its place. As far as time is concerned, we are already there. Through hope, we are where we belong. In Him.

And that, I believe, is nothing to worry about.

Perfect Unity – Is that even possible?

| Chris

Some friends of mine and I were in a conversation a few days ago regarding unity. Oddly enough, we found ourselves in a dialectic disagreement.

“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.” ~‭‭1 Corinthians ‭1:10‬

Forget about the context of the entire chapter. Just think about the magnitude of Paul’s appeal here on this particular passage. Not to the first century disciples in Corinth, but to you and me, and today’s Christendom. Is this even possible? Maybe so, but in all my life I have not seen proof of this ever being put into serious practice by anyone. It may have been attempted at one point or another but I don’t think anyone’s ever been persistently successful.

unity

Let’s just begin with all the denominations that have sprouted since the first century. Countless! The schisms, the factions. They’re endless. And this notion ranges from corporate to individuals.

Paul wanted Christians to agree with one another in whatever they say. Now who’s word should we collectively concede to? If I say one thing and another says something else, who do we yield to? And how does pride and humility play into this?

No divisions! If this is the law, then we’re all guilty of breaking it. Being the inherent sinners that we are, there’s just no way we could’ve avoided this infraction on any level. I may be wrong (and I hope I am), but I have yet to see otherwise.

And the final appeal… to be united in mind and thought. And perfectly at that! Indeed, Jesus! Increase our faith! I can’t even begin to unite my own mess of thoughts, let alone be perfectly united with those of others. Most of whom I have nothing in common with other than a fundamental faith in God.

I don’t mean to sound bleak, but we do have work to finish here. Seemingly insurmountable kind of work. After 2,000 years, we’re barely scratching Christianity’s surface. If at all.

Someday

| Chris

Heaven.

It seems distant, yet it’s near. It feels far away, yet it’s here.

It’s a promise. It’s my hope.

And hope does not disappoint.

It will come.

Windows Section Panaorama

Someday.


Change these colors of blue and grey
I can’t stand it anymore
The sun keeps rising on the wrong side of town
Don’t you walk out that door
I can’t breath, I can’t see
I call out your name
It’s alright you say, I can’t wait
I will be home someday

Have you been there, my friend
Searching high and low
Imagine closely a painless world
How can you say no

Don’t you run, don’t you hide
Don’t turn your back away
It’s alright you say, I can’t wait
Oh please come home someday

Let me take you to a land
With no castles in the sand
While there is still time
Won’t we do it today
Let me carry you away
From the scene of the crime

Take this rainbow away from the dark
Clear these clouds away
Let me smell your roses again
Send forth the light of day
I can’t breath, I can’t see
I call out your name
It’s alright you say, I can’t wait
I will be home someday

©2000 Chris Alma Jose

Who’s right? Who cares?

| Chris

The other night, my wife and I were watching TV and out of the blue I asked her a question. Never mind what it was. My point is that her answer didn’t sit quite right with me and it got me all flustered. It happened a couple more times during that same hour. Finally, I couldn’t handle it anymore and I started to raise my voice in protest. The next thing you know, we’re at it. Just like in the presidential debates, we both were spitting words out like broken arrows. Like empty bullets. Utter nonsense! We were trying to validate ourselves by squelching each other every which way we could. I was mad. She was mad. For a moment, we were both helpless.

compassion.jpg

I’m a little embarrassed to write about this now but in my experience, transparency heals the soul. I don’t want my emotions to rule over me. I want to respect them. To accept them. But to rule over my desire to do the right thing? No.

In anger, nothing right, or righteous comes out of the mouth. In a relationship, anger can make us unhinged. Detached. An enemy of each other. I know I have to fight inwardly every time. I have to fight for her. For us. For what’s right. And winning this fight means you have to feel the other person’s pain more than yours. It’s the only way to develop compassion and a way out of the mess.

Being a prideful soul that I am, it took all of my being to muster enough strength to stop this madness before we had to go to bed. I did not want us to sleep through this, I thought. So I apologized. And hoped for the promise of better days.

And that was it. Pain relinquished. Joy restored.

In the end, what matters is that I love her. Who’s right? Not so much.