I hate love

No, not really. God, I hope not.

But I just wanted to give myself a shot at interpreting this seemingly embittered expression. It’s a writing prompt from Selma, by the way. Maybe next time I will be more visual through written words. But for now, here’s a photograph I took years ago when I was still married. It was from a bouquet of roses I gave my then wife.

Back then, I was naive enough to think that love was simple as it was beautiful. Like the flowers, it was gorgeous for a while and then one day, I’m like… uhmm, what happened?

Nothing lasts forever

Times were already rough when I took this shot. When I saw what happened to the roses after just a few days, I began to think that at some point, our marriage might somehow end up the same way. For the first time in my life, I started to fear that nothing could possibly last forever. Not even love.

So yes, you can say that I hated love for being so difficult on me. Back then, it seemed like I really did.

Mo Freddie

I’ve just been passing time listening to Queen tonight and watching some Queen-related videos when I happened on this funny little bit. If you’re a Queen fanatic like I am, and knows a bit about Freddie Mercury and the band members, you’ll appreciate this. Not to mention… die laughing, too. The Lemmy part nearly took all the air out of my lungs. And Steve Riks is insanely hilarious with his Freddie impersonation.

Enjoy, Queen fans.

See me, feel me

Face Dances

Like my face dances?

I read an amusing article on Slate the other day regarding our choices for web head shots and what they say about us. I must admit I’m one to lean towards the coolness of a heavily-altered photo, for art’s sake (oh, sure!), more than a macro-shot of my gritty, unshaven, camera flash-tainted mugshot. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. But don’t we all seem have some kind of insecurity towards how we think people see us? Not just in photographs, perhaps, but through our gestures, attitudes, or even the words we write to express ourselves?

How many of us want to be seen in the morning when we’ve just gotten right out of bed, for instance? It really is rare in an insecure world that someone would be willing to show himself for who he truly is. Heck, he doesn’t even want to know himself, a lot of times. Alas, we will all have come and gone and all we’ll ever know of this world and its people is its boundless mysticism. And such is life, I guess.

Anyhow, I checked out this website the Slate author went to alter his photo at, just for kicks. And here are some of the choices I got on how I may have looked like in different circumstances. Whooooo are yooooo…

I kinda liked the manga cartoon version of me. It also combed my hair a bit so that was nice.

So… Can you see the real me? Doctor!!! Doctor!!!!!

Okay, I have to go. I’m getting distracted now. Probably because The Who is being featured on VH1 Rock Honors in a few minutes. Can’t miss it.

Friday the 4th

It’s not nearly as scary sounding as Friday the 13th, is it? In fact, for all Americans, this day is a symbol of freedom. A day to rejoice. A time for celebration. A time for reflection. A time to remember how lucky we are to be a part of this blessed country.

Yet, a lot of us do not feel free in so many ways, now do we? How could we? We are stuck in a war. We fear for our national safety. We fear for our health. Gas prices are keeping us awake at night. We’re losing our homes and our jobs. We’re slaves to our debts. And we’re slaves to our doubts. And these, just to name a few. I don’t know about you, but It’s definitely more scary than happy to me.

A week ago, I was with some friends and I couldn’t resist the temptation to share with them the good news that I am now totally debt-free. You should’ve seen everyone’s jaw drop. One of them cracked a joke and said that because of this, I am now being un-American. As if I no longer relate to normal society. That was when I realized the fact that freedom isn’t normal. It’s not an everyday thing. In fact, it is rare.

I had a recent conversation with another friend. She was telling me how joyful she is but at the same time, struggling to find herself. As if she does not know who she is inside. Too many questions, not enough answers, I guess. Fear and loneliness. More reasons to dodge freedom.

Another friend of mine at work was telling me how emptiness just fills her heart all the time. Now, I can sympathize with her having been divorced fairly recently. However, I refuse to be a slave to emptiness. I believe that emptiness is overrated. Loneliness is overrated. Like an overweight person too lazy to get up and exercise, it’s all a decision, really. You do or you don’t. What’s it gonna be?

Friday the 4th In my life, I have known people who are lonely and fearful and empty. They stay that way a long time because they don’t do much about it. In the end, I have learned that sometimes, these places are a safe haven for them. These places, though unhealthy, are what’s familiar and comfortable. It’s all they know. I have learned this because I’ve been there myself. Where Heaven is a faraway land. Love and forgiveness are a foreign concept. Integrity and self-confidence are non-existent. Freedom is a scary proposition. And bravery is something you see in the movies.

Have you ever been so critical that you fail to see the good? Is your glass half empty or half full? Yeah yeah yeah, it’s cliche, I know.

Well, here it is… the Day of Independence, in America anyway. We’re gonna fire up the grill and barbecue to our heart’s content. We’re gonna watch the fireworks and be proud that we belong in this so-called land of the free and home of the brave. What’s your plan? Me, I’m gonna be people watching (while gnawing on my pork ribs, of course). I’m gonna be hangin’ out with friends and strangers alike. Hangin’ out with the free and the brave, if you will.

This could be scary, indeed. Wish me luck.

Daydreaming again

This morning, I sat on my chair and stared at the ceiling while listening to the sound of my clothes dryer spin like a guitar tremolo being whacked out of control. Not a very productive time, perhaps. But I worked hard all week so, I guess, I deserve this time to daydream a little.

Yeah, you know… sometimes, I do that. Sometimes I find myself wishing for stuff. Wishing for no reason. Just passing time, really.

Sometimes, I wish for the impossible to be possible. Sometimes I wish for the ridiculous to make perfect sense. Sometimes, I wish for mountains to move. Just for giggles.

Right now, I wish…

  1. that passwords didn’t exist
  2. that everyone had x-ray minds
  3. that locks were a thing of the past
  4. that currency was a myth
  5. that peace was a fruit from a four-foot tree, available anywhere, all year round
  6. that breathing air causes a big belly laugh and/or a sincere smile
  7. that a job means cooking a meal for the whole neighborhood
  8. that we paid our energy bills to the sun
  9. that there was an “International Anthem” (with a tasty guitar solo break in the middle, of course)
  10. that Jimmy Page would kindly donate one of his Gibson Les Paul to me (Is that too much to ask, btw?).

But alas, this ain’t the Garden of Eden, is it?

K, time to fold my clothes.

We are we are…

… the Saints of Los Angeles!

I know I used to be.

By the way, I just saw Motley Crue on Larry King an hour ago. Wow, that brought me back in time… back to the gutters of Sunset Strip. Good to know the boys are back in town doing what they do best… kickin’ teeth!

And that new song? Man, that got my foot stomping hard while doing my best air guitar in a long time. I love a good rock and roll anthem, I tell ya.

But the big news for me is seeing Tommy’s new kick drum. I thought, what in the world…

You gotta give it to the guy, though. He’s really good at topping himself every time.

Anyhow, ‘scuse me while I slip on the headphones.

Just one little trout would be nice

I can’t remember the last time I had gone fishing. I must’ve been eight or nine. I’ve been dying to go out but didn’t want to embarrass myself by going it along. So yesterday afternoon, a couple of my fishing expert friends and I went out to a nearby State Park and sat by the lake for a few hours with our Ugly Stiks. I was being patient for a trout to take my nice little bait so I could have it for dinner. Well, they definitely enjoyed the tasty goo I stuck at the end of my line but they seem to be a little too smart to stay hooked long enough for me to reel them in. It got a bit frustrating I had to put my pole down at some point and shoot some pictures instead. Overall, it was a nice, quiet and peaceful evening even though we came back home with a box of pizza in tow.

Anyhow, here are some photos I took of the trip…

We arrived at the lake around 5pm. Sweet!

Wait, look what I found…

By crikey! I found me a beauty, mate! Actually, I was kinda freaked out since I came a little too close to get a close-up shot. I’m used to viewing snakes only through very thick windows.

Ok, time to get serious… says George and Mark, my fishing gurus.

It’s getting late and everybody’s leaving so we got this place all to ourselves.

Excuse me, I got distracted by the breathtaking views.

Before you know it, it’s getting dark and it’s time to head on out.

Wait, one last shot before the sun disappears.

Well, no seafood dinner for me… but it was fun, nonetheless.

Until next time…

Owe no!

Oh yeah!

I am debt-free, at last. Today, actually. That’s a year and a half ahead of schedule. So, am I disciplined or what? Well, I paid off every single penny I owed during the last five or so years, and I am feeling so good, right now. But more importantly, I’m also determined not to put myself in that situation, ever again. And that’s a firm promise.

Goodbye slavery. Hello freedom!

Now, time for a beer!

It’s ME time once again

My friend Selma did hers and now, it’s my turn. This is always fun for me… and a good excuse to post something when the mind is temporarily blank.

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What were you doing ten years ago today?
I had to look this one up to be sure. It may not be exactly today but the weekend at the end of May 1998 was Memorial Day weekend and I was camping with friends somewhere in Northern California. My WordPress avatar, as a matter of fact, was from a picture taken at that same time.

5 things on today’s ‘to do’ list…
I just came back from a week-long business trip, so I would have to say… nothing, nothing, post this blog, watch TV and nothing.

5 Things I’d Do If I Was A Billionaire…
Let’s just say I have exactly one billion dollars in cash. Here’s how I would manage it:

First day, I’d take half a million with me and shop for musical gear to my heart’s content. Second day, I’d buy a small house with a nice size basement and have all the gear delivered straight to the basement. Third day, I’d go to the bank and split the rest of the money into two accounts. About fifty million in my savings (that should be overly plenty). The rest will be used for family, friends, charities and all future Santa Claus adventures.

Fourth day, I’d better get back to work already. I love what I do too much, I can’t afford to get fired!

5 bad habits…
Not only is this one bad, but weird to the max, as well – I don’t like being on the telephone. Hence, I do not call anyone unless it’s a life and death situation. And when you call me, either I talk to you for a few seconds or just call you back later. If you leave an entertaining message, that is.

That alone is worth 5 five bad habits, I believe. If not more.

5 places I’ve lived…
Manila, Philippines
San Francisco, CA metro
Los Angeles, CA metro
Atlanta, GA metro
Cheyenne, WY

5 jobs I’ve had…
Besides gigging as a musician?

Courier
Architectural draftsman
Construction help
Web designer/developer
Graphic/Multimedia designer

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So, that’s it! Go ahead and do yours, if you want. But I’d like to tag Mike, specifically, for this one. You can never know enough about someone. Not even your best friend, in fact.