If only we had meat to eat… but now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna.
~ Numbers 11:4-6

You can’t always have what you want. And you can’t have everything either. At least, not all at once.

Have you ever struggled with having to choose between what you want and what you need? How about forcibly getting what you need instead of what you actually want? Of course you have. You’re only human, after all. It is a battle we all face, constantly. And there is no way out of it, I’m afraid. We will always be in a tug-of-war against ourselves. Unless, of course, you opt to simply give in. Then, I rest my case.

But, that’s just my observation.

Me? I’m usually pretty good at being disciplined about making sound decisions for my own sake. Like, you know… given the state of my own personal economy, I would buy something suspiciously cheap, if I deem it able to serve the same purpose as one that costs way more. It doesn’t always work but I, at least, learn from the experience. I’ve never been enticed by brand names. Not that it should matter to anyone else. However, if a brand name is more cost-effective in the long run, then I would not skimp. You can relate, can’t you?

When I was younger and was a working musician, I remember starving myself, eating only ramen noodles everyday, just so I can save the money to be able to buy a two thousand dollar guitar. Yep, I was that crazy back then. And I would sacrifice that way again and again, every time I had a piece of gear I “needed” to purchase. After all, the tools of the trade are a must, right? And so, worth dying for.

However, there are times when I’m not too happy with what I’m given either. Because what I asked for was something different. Something of selfish nature, perhaps. But in the end, I was glad because it all worked out well in the long run, as it always does for me. It goes to show how much I know about what’s right and what’s wrong.

These past few days, I’ve been trying to find a new place to move in to in three weeks. It’s a battle in my mind because a lot of people think I should go ahead and buy a house now. And I’m thinking… hmmm, yes I could. I’m able to… so, why not? For a couple of days, I was really tempted. I could swing this and get it done with, already. But then, I thought… I still have debt to pay off and other financial obligations I need to tend to, at the moment. Sure, I could make it all fit into my budget, no problem. But I had to stop and think of a better scenario. The big picture. The future. Instead of just today.

Today. Yes, today, I need to chill. I need to sacrifice today so tomorrow will be rewarded. I now believe in this philosophy. Sacrificing today doesn’t necessarily mean depriving myself or halting my life. I think, contentment is key. If I am content with little now, who knows, I may be rewarded with a bit more, later. I have to trust in hope. If you don’t have hope, what else can you possibly have? The cake is already good. But a little icing would be nice too, right?

So yeah, what’s it gonna be? Want or need? It pays to choose wisely since we’re only allowed one choice at a time.

Meat or manna, people… it’s either one or the other.

Meat Or Manna

don’t even think about it, it’s not what you need
don’t fly away forever, just to come back down to bleed
i have only one thing to say
you don’t have to run away

i was hoping you’d wanna
wanna choose meat or manna
it’s either one or the other
meat or manna

if only life was easy, you can do what you please
you just hide behind the curtain and pretend no one sees
there is only one thing that matters
but all you want is everything that shatters

i was hoping you’d wanna
wanna choose meat or manna
it’s either one or the other
meat or manna

you feed on your wisdom as you sit at the table
and you wanna save the world
but does your mind think you’re able
i know what you’re after tonight
don’t question my answer cause it’s black and white

i was hoping you’d wanna
wanna choose meat or manna
it’s either one or the other
meat or manna

©2002 Chris Alma Jose