life

Ask not

| Chris

Sometimes, I find myself being frustrated with my church. You know, like I want it to be a certain way but it’s not. If it only does this and not that. Or, if only they have this and not that. Whatever.

Every church has its own culture. For the most part, that culture rubs off from that of its surrounding community and society. The church I’m in now isn’t the one I grew up in. And neither is the city. I will forever be the new kid in town, where I am right now. But that’s not my point.

serve

It’s not necessarily wrong to desire for a change in one’s religious culture – be it of the church or society – if you’re willing to do the work. It’s going to take an enormous amount of time and effort to do it (especially for a stranger like me). And on the way, there will be resistance of all kinds. Don’t believe me? Go, ask Jesus.

Me? Actually, I’m willing. Maybe, I’m just unable. Or so, I think. Anyhow, just because I’m used to certain things doesn’t mean it has to be that way all the time. Right? Well, there’s my excuse! Flexibility is beneficial in life. I realize that in most churches, people come and go because they church-hop hoping to find the “right” church for them. And I can understand that. To a degree, that is. I’m beginning to see that this can, indeed, become a sin as well. Trying to be in control when God should be. Giving in to what we want instead of looking beyond our circumstances to see what God is trying to say to us. Finding the perfect church is a futile attempt, I think. Any church “can” be the right church, if only we listen closely to what God is telling us instead of what we’re trying to tell ourselves. A desire for convenience can sometimes lead our hearts astray. It’s a comfort zone issue.

Bottom line is, as long as humans stay imperfect, we’ll never find the “perfect” church. However, we will always find our hearts, regardless of its condition, in any church we’re in. And I certainly don’t want to find my heart in a bad condition at a church that God has put me in. I want to find out what he has in store for me. I’m sure it is good. I know it is. Maybe, I won’t find it today. But I trust that someday, I will. Like the saying goes – In his time.

So meanwhile, I say… Ask not what your church can do for you, but what you can do for it. For by this, God’s voice will resonate louder than ours so that our purpose will become clear to us. We will then find an answer to our questions and meaning to our lives.

God bless.

Got ten thousand talents?

| Chris

standout

As usual, I played music for our worship team at church this morning. It wasn’t anything new or spectacular. Just another Sunday service full of technical difficulties and an out-of-tune guitar (mine). Glad no one noticed. In fact, I was on my way out to the parking lot when a flattering voice came from behind.

You have great talent, Chris!

Now, I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I have to admit, this wasn’t the first time that’s happened to me either. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. However, every single time it happens, I’m always confused as to whether or not it’s something I’d really like to hear. Well, rather than, say… “You’re a good man, Chris!”

And to make matters worse, the sermon this morning dealt with the scripture about The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant and let me tell you, did it have something new to tell me this time around! I know the story is about forgiveness, however, something else came up to me while reading it. I see that Jesus is comparing the magnitude of having to forgive a debt of ten thousand talents (millions of dollars) as opposed to just a hundred denarii (a few dollars). Now, we’ve all read the famous Parable of the Talents where burying your talents is said to be a very bad thing. Talent is a good thing. Talent is a gift. It needs to be multiplied, shared and used for God’s work. Just like money, it’s a currency that needs to circulate. So, back to the first parable, it showed me that a talent is something we owe God. And talent is something we all have in some capacity, believe it or not.

Perhaps, this is the reason I am uneasy everytime I hear a flattering statement about my talents. It’s probably because I don’t like the idea that I’m indebted. And just like money, talents can lead you to places you don’t want to go. Just like money, it can be used as an instrument of both good and evil.

Speaking of talent, I can boast of one I know I’m really good at… sinning. Yep, a recurring talent, if you will. As well as a debt I can never repay.

How about you? You got talent? How much?

Mr. Nanny goes berserk

| Chris

That’s it!! You’re just gonna have to clean up your own mess this time, Nevada!

nevada

Only one of us is having the most fun, at this very moment, it seems.

My patience,  I swear, was being tested by this young lady during a time her parents were out running errands or something. But no, it’s not all cereal-spillingfest everytime. For the most part, it was a lot of fun for both parties, actually. And a very fulfilling  job. For me, anyway.

It’s been a while, but I got to be nanny to my friend’s four kids once. That’s right! Four! I can only imagine how being a parent to four overcharged little creatures can be like. It was quite an adventure for sure, yet a moment that will always have a special place in my heart.

I never had kids myself but I have gone through life numerous times, with little people popping in here and there, giving me headaches, chores to do, unanswerable questions to ask… heck, even a reason to love them, believe it or not! In fact, I believe there’s no better way to grow up than to experience life with kids growing up themselves. And getting down to their level, meeting them where they’re at. It might put a few gray strands on your head but I reckon, it’s all worth it in the end.

The few times I was privileged to spend any time with kids, at all – be it a step father, a big brother, a teacher or even just a mere nanny, in fact – were the ones I treasure the most. Am I good at it? Well, it’s not an easy thing, to say the least, and I seem to stumble a lot. Although I try to pick myself up, everytime. And yes, I would do it again, if given a chance. Hopefully, having grown up a little, by then.

But time seems to be running out, isn’t it?

Still here

| Chris

Have I suddenly fallen off the face of the Earth? Of course, I have!

But why? Well, I’m not so sure why. Or rather, I’m not so sure if my answer would make any difference. One day, I was typing away as usual. The next day, my PC was shut off. And it’s been off for over a month now. For some reason, I had lost interest. I couldn’t write a single word. I couldn’t whistle a single note. Sometimes, it boggles me. It’s not that something’s happened. I mean, my life seems as normal as it has ever been. Nothing’s changed much, really. I just feel out of it, I guess. All of a sudden, I got lazy, overwhelmed and distracted. Over nothing! Or so, I think. But my creative juices have dried up, it seems.

I didn’t think it would last this long, though. In fact, I didn’t think this post would mark the end of the streak, either. But at least, I’m able to tell all of you that I’m still around. I’m just trying to heal from the wounds of the past, that’s all.

fauxparis

Though I can’t believe, a lot has happened since. It’s fall. It’s snowing. Halloween came and went. There’s a new president, even? Wow, where have I been?

Okay, I’ll tell you where I’ve been. Paris! No, not the real one… but dang! That fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas sure looks real. No? Well, I’ve never seen the real one so I really can’t compare. All I know is that I had fun, at least. Vegas is so different now from the last time I was there. That’s when Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci still ruled the strip. And the food was cheap! Sigh!

Anyhow, I feel bad that some of you may have been wondering and that I have not left a clue. I’m so sorry. Sometimes I just have to do what I have to do to stay sane. If that makes any sense.

But like I said, I will be back. You’ll wait, won’t you?

Everything is hard…

| Chris

mmm...k

Everything is hard

But sometimes, I wonder which is harder…

To have seen everything or to have been blind since birth?
To not have the answers or to not know the questions?
To grant forgiveness or to ask for it?
To put your guard up or to put it down?
To respect fear or to ignore it?
To embrace pain or to dodge it?
To lie to someone or to yourself?
To lose your innocence or to preserve it?
To defend your life or to surrender it?
To admit guilt or to deny it?
To know little or to know much?
To recognize what is right or what is wrong?
To deal or to walk away?
To open your mouth or to keep it shut?
To raise your head up high or to bow down low?
To serve justice or to show mercy?
To earn your freedom or to receive it as a gift?
To swallow the truth or to spit it out?

I’m still trying to figure it out.

Have you?

Thank you

| Chris

thank you

Thank you for my yummy dinner tonight
I really like the kind Josh’s mom gets
Thank you for this nice big house, as well
It’s more comfy than the cold floor I’m used to
Although I miss hanging out with my old mates
I think of them every now and then
And I pray that they would find a home as well
Or that a home would find them soon

Thank you for that comfy little doggie house
even when I sleep on Josh’s bed lots of times
Thank you that he doesn’t get mad when I do it
I just really want to be close to him
Besides I like to watch over him while he sleeps
Because he watches over me during the day
And he forgives me when I poop on the carpet
Even when his mom doesn’t

Thank you that I am a dog
I don’t have to work and pay the bills
All I do is run around, eat, sleep and poop
And I still get treats and lots of love
Thank you that I can’t possibly hold grudges
They look too heavy for me to carry anyway
Thank you that a sad face is all I have to show
And everything will be alright

Amen

Oh, and P.S.
I pray that Josh here will be done soon
’cause I really really need to go now

Amen again

Dedicated to Miss Molly